Two
short stories from 1ALSG
By
Peter “PJ” Brown, 110 Sig Sqn, South Vietnam
(18 Dec 1967 - 19 Dec 1968)
Story 1 - Hearing an Ice Cream Van in 1ALSG
Preamble
This
is another story that starts its sandy tracks in the initial
briefing of incoming reinforcements/replacements. As can be
expected, incoming reinforcement/replacement soldiers get a series
of briefings to bring them up to date on the current in-country
situation. Somehow there were some items left out - some would say
maliciously left out.
The
location is the 1st Australian Logistic Support Group
(1ALSG) base at Vung Tau, South Vietnam. The role of 1ALSG
was that of a Forward Maintenance Area (FMA) supporting the
Australian combat troops at Nui Dat, about 25km inland from 1ALSG.
US
Army Helicopter FMA
Our
American Allies also had FMA functions in Vung Tau at the airfield
including the recovery and maintenance of Helicopters from the war
zone. One of those helicopters, for frequent maintenance, was
tasked with winning
hearts and minds
(propaganda). The theory being that in the initial stages of a
combat operation, involving ground troops, artillery, bombing and/or
air assault, that the population would be warned by loud speaker
announcements and music. This allowed, those that thought of
themselves as non-combatants, could relocate to a safe area.
Unfortunately the VC to prepare for battle or also relocate from the
pending attack!
The
Helicopter after receiving maintenance now requires final
sign off
testing. To this end it is flown very high to the point of being
invisible, unless you knew where to look. The chosen method of
testing the loud speakers was to use a classical piece of music.
Better known to us, Australians, as the signature tune of our ice
cream vans back home in Australia.
Ice Cream Van Music
The
reinforcement/replacement soldier walks between normal tasks across
the sand and in the open, alone, unsuspecting and very visible. The
veteran lurks, sniggeringly, in a suitably shady hide, long used for
this very task. The new in-country soldier hears music, or thinks
he does. In all cases we know he has heard it because the response
is nearly always the same. Walker comes to dead stop, if the
face is visible eyes widen then head and face usually turn
downwards, as if the make the sound clearer. It won’t, the source
is almost vertically overhead. Again, almost always, the
suspicious bastard sneaks a glance around. To see if somebody is
taking the piss, and looking on, for a laugh.
What
happened next could follow two directions walks off with uncertain
expression on the face; thinks hmm may have got a touch of the sun.
The unfortunate individual was probably thinking “I’ll ask a friend
(veteran?)” in the mess break or at the boozer tonight.
Or
looks up and down the road for an Ice Cream Van!!.
At
this point, the game is up, because those of us looking on burst
into laughter. We mostly put the poor bloke out of misery by
explaining what was going on.
Aha say the bosses, all will
work together and make the place spick and span.
OR’s lines will be turned
upside down.
Workshops and relay centre
will be polished spotless.
Vehicles and transport lines
will be cleaned top to bottom.
Kitchen and dining room will
gleam.
Recreation Hut and
Sandbaggers Inn will be dustless spotless and
all garbage tins cleaned inside and out.
So say the bosses.
The new boss of bosses
arrives in camp lines for inspection.
O JOY THERE IS A FATHER XMAS.
He ignores all we have done
and Inspects the Officer’s and Sergeants lines.
O JOY O JOY.
Check out the duty rosters -
the same names appear in alphabetical order.
Numerously!
O JOY O JOY
PJ Brown
2014
2014